Nothing & Everything
I heard a quote last week that I’ll likely never forget. It went straight to my soul.
The origin of the quote is unknown. It’s likely a simplification of other great quotes like this one by C.S. Lewis. “There is no neutral ground in the universe; every square inch, every split second is claimed by God, and counter-claimed by satan.”
Now, that’s a great string of words! But the phrase that has captured my attention is only 6 words long (much easier to remember).
“Nothing is neutral, everything is influence.”
I heard it at an Anvil Academy gathering; it’s one of the core values they use to help forge boys into God-honoring young men. As a teenage young man, who has graduated from Anvil Academy, shared it with our group, I drank in the goodness of how it had impacted his life. Did he know he was impacting mine?
Nothing is neutral… nothing we say, think, do, feel, accomplish, ignore, plan, reject or insinuate through verbal tone, facial expression or body language… nothing is neutral.
We might think we’re neutral. We might imagine that because we didn’t say anything... we remained neutral. We might think changing the subject in a conversation is opting for neutrality. But in truth — it is not. We are always communicating something, even in silence. Sadly, the person who does not realize this, has most certainly left a trail of debris in their wake.
Which leads to the reality of the next 3 words — e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g is influence. Every smile (or stoicism), word, facial expression, moment of patience (or flurry of impatience), gesture of approval (or disapproval), decision to call (or refusal to), it all matters, for it influences movement in one way or the other.
For the quiet person who thinks no one ever notices them
— this means you are seen.
For the shy person who thinks no one cares what they say
— this means that what you say really does matter.
For the verbose person who thinks they have said too much
— this means your actions matter more than what you say.
For the smirking murmurer who thinks no one notices their sour expression
— this exposes the reality of the harm they cause.
For the gentle hand
— this means you made a difference.
For the wounded
— this means you’re seen.
For the worker
— this means what you do really does matter.
For the peacemaker
— this means your efforts changed things.
For the gossiper
— this means you’re gig is not hidden.
For the kind soul
— this means you really do inspire.
For the good leader
— this means you are being followed by good seekers. (The ones who won’t follow might not be wanting the good you’re leading towards. Don’t let them slow you down — lead on — goodness is needed.)
Nothing is neutral,
everything is influence.
This means the smile you gave to that person who didn’t seem to care…it actually did matter. Because even if the one you smiled at didn’t smile back — the child you didn’t notice, saw you, and they received something good when you smiled.
This means the time you motioned for the other car to go first and they didn’t acknowledge your kindness…it still mattered. Because the person in the other lane saw, and it helped them remember that kindness still matters even when it’s overlooked.
This means that picking up the thing that someone else carelessly knocked off the shelf…it really matters. Because that old lady you met on the next aisle was not going to notice it, and her frail body could not have endured the fall it was going to cause.
This means the moments when we stand up for what is right and refuse to go along with what is wrong…it definitely matters. Because the person enduring the wrong was helpless, and the person delivering the wrong needed to be stopped.
In the book of Esther, Mordecai pressed for influence to come through Esther — even though it might cost her her life. Mordecai knew that neutrality would bring certain death. He said to Esther,
“For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish.”
Esther 4:14
Let’s apply this to us, today — “For if you remain silent…relief will arise from another place, but you and yours…will perish.”
Now let me be clear as I write. I’m not applying these 6 words to political agendas (some will, I’m not). This is written to address matters much closer to home. It’s off balance when people rise up loudly and make-their-stand in politics and worldly dramas — while their home is crumbling and hearts right beside them are withering. Wouldn’t it work better to focus on relational, healthy, growth first in the home, then rippling outward from there.
Steve and I have learned to carefully watch the simplest nuances of interactions between people. We never set out to be students of familial communications. We never even knew it was a thing to study. But then we began to notice how our love for one another and our interactions with one another were “off”. How we felt towards one another didn’t match with how we consistently interacted with each other. How could we love each other so, and yet, still hurt each other? We didn’t mean to wound one another. We meant good towards each other. Yet somehow, in our careless ways, we’d find ourselves in places of silence and frustration, quiet and aloneness. Steve would be the silent, quiet one, while I would become the frustrated, lonely one. But Steve’s silence was not peaceful and my frustration was not quiet.
We were absolutely dumbfounded at the confusion of how two people could mess up so much — even with sincere hearts of love towards one another.
Then, just when we wondered if we’d survive, GOD drew us to Himself. He let us feel our need, and then He sat us in His classroom. He made us study ourselves in His Light. He’s a wonderful teacher.
Nothing is neutral
— silence is not neutral
— quiet is not neutral
— hiding is not neutral
— ignoring what hurts is not neutral.
Instead, they are all deadly. Why? Because the enemy of our Father is very willing to fill the silence with confusion and isolation.
Everything is influence
— every facial expression (kind or hard)
— every tone (gentle or harsh)
— every void (when goodness is needed)
— every numb response (when aloneness is smothering).
Every act or lack thereof influences. How? because the enemy of our Father works to maximize on the negative — but even more powerful is the reality that God is working to maximize on the positive. The question must be asked — are we giving God anything to work with?
For good or for bad — everything holds influence.
The cumulative effect of chosen influences can make a home a sanctuary or turn it into a graveyard.
The cumulative effect of chosen influences…(a powerful thought…)
Steve use to think his silence would at least maintain “peace”. But it didn’t.
I use to think that my emotionally infused plethora of words would help him understand. But it didn’t.
Then when we were on our knees, broken of ourselves, we finally reached for the Father and learned that everything matters. How we say it. When we say it. And why we say it. Speaking the truth with the motive of love influences. And sometimes kind silence is what’s needed the most.
How important it is to remember the enemy allows nothing to remain neutral…he works to use our neutrality for his dark ways. Oh but our Heavenly Father is at work everywhere, hoping to use our influence to accomplish what is good, right, true, honorable, excellent, and beneficial.
And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.
Hebrews 10:24-25
Which side are we contributing to?
Which side is our influence being used by?
Sometimes we just need 6 solid words to help us remember.
Nothing is neutral, everything is influence.
Oh God, help us refuse a life of neutrality and embrace the reality of the influence you have placed in us.
