The Right Reality
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We people. We are so easily pulled from truth. Pulled away from the good way. Recently my dear husband shared his heart with me concerning a conversation he was preparing his heart for — a conversation with a friend who lives separate from the Lord, and yet is still a “good” man. The friend is burdened and troubled over the condition of the world around him…and he worries for his grandchild growing up in such a world.
I’ve heard this so often. But almost always it comes from the heart and mouth of those who have “lost” their faith in God; or perhaps they never really had faith in Him. For when people lament over the “condition of our world”, the question is — where is their walk with God? Almost without fail, they are not actually walking with, trusting in, running to — the Father. They have chosen to step away from the very One who is able, and willing, in His time, to make all things new.
So, of course, they are lamenting and grieving over what they see and hear of the world around them. Without Jesus inside their hearts, they can’t find a way to see anything other than what surrounds them…because what is in them is scared. Fear has found a home.
Jesus is and always will be, The Way, The Truth, and The Life — but when people lose that truth, they imagine a sky falling.
If we are breathing, then we still have a chance to climb out of the valley, up onto the mountain, and let the Truth set us free.
I recently had a conversation with a woman who was so worried over the world her children were growing up in. She is a believer, but she had allowed herself to focus on the wrong things— and the good place of focus had become blurred. She even felt like she was being “wise” to be realistic…stating she didn’t want to live in a fairy tale world because, to her, the “castle had burned and all was lost”. She was in a dark valley. It takes work to step away from the smothering places fear and doubt will take us. So, I asked her,
“When did you ever think there even was a castle?”
She thought. Her reply? “I guess there never really was one. I just dreamed if I worked hard enough and looked good enough, there would be a castle and a prince and…we’d live…happily ever after.”
Ahhh. She was finding the places where false reality had breathed a lie into her heart and she’d been working to bring about that fantasy. But when the unavoidable cave-in came, she was allowing the pendulum of her life to swing too far in the other direction. Gracious. How many of us have done this very thing? If we can’t have the castle, then we land our thinking in the dungeon — the sky falls, the castle crumbles, and children should never be born into such a terrible kingdom… oh no.
With tender gentleness, I worked to help her see this as a moment of, “it is time to grow up into a woman of God and no longer live like a princess daughter in a worldly dream”. Some call it the Cinderella Syndrome. At times it can be called that. But I have learned it so often goes much deeper than that. It’s when despair destroys hope — and a child, in an adult’s body, is trying to survive the loss. They are still a child in their thinking, and therefore they weather their loss as a child might. It can happen to both women and men. When what they thought would, should, could have been is GONE, and they know that what they are facing is too hard to bear. Too hard for a child. Not too hard for an adult.
"When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things."
1 Corinthians 13:11 | KJV
So what do we do? The wise will run to the Father and find the truthful reality in His Word.
The dear lady who thought she was broken because her pretend castle was gone was willing to sit and think — and find her way to the actual reality of this world — with no roller coaster ride of inclines to dreams and long drops to devastations. I asked her, “Who were the very first parents, according to scripture?”
Her response, “Adam and Eve”.
“Who were their first two sons?”
“Cain and Abel”.
“What happened to them?”
“Oh. Umm well, Cain killed Abel”.
…………silence……….
“So, dear one, from the very beginning, where has there ever really been a castle…in the day to day living of souls in this world?”
I watched her peel away the layers of fantasy dreams and storybook tales. We people can work so hard to imagine we are able to create kingdoms of tranquility, when in truth, we live in a broken world that broke in the Garden of Eden. When sin enters, lives break. No manmade kingdom can stop the effects of sin.
It’s why Jesus came. He paid for our sins. It cost Him more than we have ever been able to truly grasp. But even in the flow of Christ’s redemption, we still walk on the dirt of a fallen world. So when did we ever think it would get easier?
It was not God who sinned. It was people.
So if we surround ourselves with focusing on people…we will find ourselves in the stagnant air of the shadowy valley.
But if we surround ourselves with the Truth of who God is, what He has done for us through Jesus Christ, and the reality of His return…we can find ourselves in the clean air with a mountain top view.
Over and over again the Word of God tries to redirect our thoughts to —
“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things.”
Philippians 4:8
We can not live in pretend places where, “I’m great, all is great, everything is wonderful, we are fantastic…” For this is not actually possible. That’s a crumbling castle at best.
But we also should not live focused on the horrors that are very real in a broken world.
We are wisest when we live in the reality of all that happens in the dark “valleys” of this world, and yet we keep our focus on the mountain top way. We can “dwell in the shelter of the most High, and rest in the shadow of the Almighty”. (Psalm 91:1) even as we bravely do our part to serve, care for, and love those in the valley. It’s all an internal posture.
Missionaries often times “live” in the valley as they serve, but that is the external appearance. For internally, no matter where they lay their heads, they must become skilled at laying themselves down to rest “in the shelter of the most High, to rest in the shadow of the Almighty”. If they do not learn to have the right internal posture, they will be overcome by the external vacuum of devastation.
Are they living in reality? They are more realistic than any who live only in the valley or only on the mountain top places. They are able to hold clean mountain air in their souls even as they face the raw pain around them.
This is the good, right, and honorable focus of living well here — until we finally go HOME.
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
Philippians 4:4-9 | bold added by me
