The Life HE Gives
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I asked her, “What exactly is it that you want for your life?” She paused long. The space between us was healthy and good, she knew she was safe. She took about 30 seconds to find her words. “I actually don’t know. What is it I want for my life?”
She could have easily given the pre-packaged pageant type answers — I want peace for the world, money, success, good health, etc. But she knew i was asking her to look at a deeper level. For where her life had landed was no where near where she wanted to be. (even though she had money, health, and a level of success)
To honestly look inside ourselves and try and find the stepping stones from where we are to where we want to be can be a very daunting exercise. More often we can sometimes come up with what we want others to do or be. How we wish others would change. We can think others are hindering our lives, our happiness, our peace, our progress. We people are far too good at pointing fingers and blaming others. But when the action steps and thinking processes are dependent on us alone — we can get stuck.
She did.
I have in the past.
The only reason I can write about this, is because I’ve wrestled on those high walls. Walls I thought someone else had built around me, only to finally realize the responsibility of where my life had landed was mine — not theirs.
Blaming thoughts like…it’s because of…
What they did to me in the past…
What they said about me that knocked the wind out of me…
How they tried to force themselves into my life…
How I had let them do so — in my efforts to be “compliant” and “nice”.
Or even how someone had blamed me for their unhappiness…
Then the Lord taught me a most amazing truth.
At the beginning of my life, before the cells of me began to divide and grow, it was GOD and me. First I was His idea, next I became His plan, and finally I became His creation. The same is true for you. Regardless of what happened from your birth to now, in the beginning of you — it was God and you. And in the end of you, when you breathe your last earth-air — it will be God and you. NO ONE ELSE will be allowed in that moment.
God opened my eyes to see that I had allowed other people (people pleaser that I use to be) to persuade me, pressure me, dominate me, and even manipulate me. Now, truthfully, there were only a handful of people who worked to do this in my life. But you know what they say about one rotten apple in the barrel and how it affects the other apples. And yes, I’m being brave to say — there are some people in this world that are “rotten”. They are the dominators, the pressurers (new word there), self-serving persuaders (wanting their way), and manipulators (wanting to control you). Can God really love them? Oh yes, He can and He does — but He does not love (or like) what they do to others.
As God opened my eyes and placed His firm hand on my heart and mind, He revealed to me that allowing others to have such dominance and control in our lives actually interferes with HIS PLANS. He created you. He will eagerly receive you when this life is through. No one else will be present. The person who matters most to you in this world — was not present when God dreamed you up and formed you in His hands and they will not be present when you open your eyes after this life is done. GOD was there and will be there. God has the plans all laid out in His great heart for your every day, every hour, every minute. He did not create you just for the fun of it.
He meant it when He made you.
When I asked the dear lady what she really wanted in life, she was profoundly stuck. Why?
It was because she had never been given the mental space to breathe, pause, pray, ask God, and follow His lead. She hadn’t even known she had a right to do so. She had grown up with dominators. She had married a manipulator. She had friends who were persuaders. And she had become accustomed to letting the strongest persuaders tell her what to do. She said it was more peaceful that way. But she was broken as she realized — she was not living her life. Other people were.
It took some careful cleaning, heart-soul-mind cleaning, and then the fog in her eyes began to lift and “she” began to emerge. In time, with much prayer, and after tears had washed away the debris of sadness — she said a most beautiful sentence.
“I’ve never let myself think about what I want in life — but most of all, I want what GOD wants.”
She continued, “To know what God wants for my life means I need to start listening to Him. And to hear Him, I need to stop listening to them.”
Y E S
Who we listen to has such a tremendous impact on our life.
And you get to choose who you will listen to.
But be warned — the controllers, manipulators, persuaders, dominators will not like it when they lose their grip. Oh but the freedom that comes means your life is rising up.
Godly mentors are worth their weight in pure gold!! A mentor that will guide in God-honoring ways, laced with truth from the scripture and who has proof of good-God-fruit in their lives — that mentor is working to make your moment in front of God a most beautiful thing. A Godly mentor is not interested in feeling powerful, important, or even self-gratified as they spend time with you. A Godly mentor will help you become conditioned to the guidance of GOD in your life (not the guidance of them). And they can understand the pressures of life because they are vulnerably honest about the pressures God has navigated them through.
The dear lady in front of me didn’t know what she wanted in life because others had smothered her out as they got to “feel good about themselves” while they told her what to do. Trying to keep peace with others had compelled her to go along with them. But she had finally come to a terrifying culdesac — realizing she was going no where in life. Their self-importance had stolen her life.
Why am I writing about this?
Because I see it happening so often.
Compliant, people-pleasers — so often the kindest people among us — find themselves in a highjacked life where others control them and they lose themselves.
Is this Biblical at all? Is this what God would want for a life He creates? No. On the contrary — this is a way the enemy of God can “steal, kill, and destroy”? (John 10:10a)
Stealing a life, killing God’s purposes for that life, and destroying their ability to bravely accomplish the plans HE had for them. Oh but the rest of that verse reads, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” (John 10:10b)
The profound contrast between God’s way and the world’s way (manipulated by satan) is poignantly clear in this powerful verse. “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.”
And the next verses speak out so beautifully the difference between controllers, manipulators, persuaders and dominators (hired hands) as opposed to the goodness of God’s plans.
“I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. The hired hand is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me — just as the Father knows me and i know the Father — and I lay down my life for the sheep.” John 10:11-15
Live the life HE created you for — accomplish the plans He has for you — and then be ready to encourage those He brings before you — for your life, in His hands, can be used by Him. “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds…” (Hebrews 10:23,24)
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The next three weeks of Reaching for More of Jesus will unpack this notion of “what do you want” more fully, from a Biblical perspective. May it encourage and inspire us all to do this life — the good Jesus way.
