What Do I Want?
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This is Part 2 of a 4 part series. If you missed last week’s word-offering, you might want to begin there before continuing here.
It’s quite remarkable how our humanness is preprogrammed to focus closely on what we need and then graduate to what we want. From the time we’re born, we have a definite opinion on what we need. We cried when we were hungry, cold, tired — we needed food, warmth, rest. Then over time, we began to reach for things we wanted. Unknowingly, in our humanness, our needs meshed together with our wants.
Parents are on full time duty during those formative years trying to help their child understand the difference between what they need versus what they want. This important distinction should solidify within us as the years unfold and we grow into adulthood. But in truth, so often we shift from maturing in healthy ways, working towards needs being met, to growing in unhealthy ways, honing skills to get what we want.
Do you know anyone who works to get more, have more, achieve more, do more…and yet even when the “more” happens, they are rarely satisfied for long? They are “full” and yet discontent; looking a bit like emotional toddlers in grown-up bodies.
But here, in this writing, as we look into the deep places of ourselves and reach for more of Jesus — we find great value in meditating on the truth of what is it that we really want in life. Our needs are quite evident, and these should be attended to with care. But our wants can become lost in the whirl of what others have, what society promotes, what media presents.
Wisdom calls us to look within ourselves and search out what we need — and then take time to understand the difference between a need and a want. Then Wisdom presses us to assess the true value of both in our lives.
Wisdom invites us to go to the Holy Pages and glean from its endless counsel and guidance. The life-stories found in the Word of God invite us to learn from the echos of lives lived well. Oh that we would reach towards wisdom and apply it to the whirl of today. The Holy Pages know the way.
So for this pursuit of reaching for more of Jesus, I chose three of my favorite ladies in scripture. I view them as “mentors” who don’t just tell me what I want to hear, but they help me understand what I need to know. They lived it. They walked on pathways found in high places…and they landed in God-honoring fields. (For the good men who read our weekly encouragements, these women I’ll share here can also inspire you. But, please take the time to think through the men in scripture that can become powerful “mentors” for you. For my husband Steve, he “sits with” Caleb, Moses, Abraham, and David.)
Let’s begin with Ruth.
Ruth’s story, found in the book of Ruth, is set during the Biblical period of the Judges, around 1140 BC.
Ruth lived a simple life in the land of Moab with her young husband Mahlon. Mahlon was from Bethlehem of Judea, he was not a Moabite, yet he was who she chose to marry. Mahlon’s family had traveled from Bethlehem to escape the famine and had become successful in business in Moab.
If we read the beginning chapter of the Book of Ruth, we can glean that she was happy in her life with Mahlon. Nothing is written to make us think otherwise. It is very likely that if Ruth had been asked, “What do you really want in life Ruth?”, her response would have been something like, “I want a life with my husband and children filling our home. I want to grow old with grandchildren around us.”
Oh, but Ruth’s story did not bring her children with Mahlon. Instead, Ruth buried her young husband before children were born. She also buried her husband’s father and brother.
Yet, her love for Naomi, her grieving mother-in-law, took her to places she never planned to go, to work in fields she had never asked to harvest.
What Ruth “wanted” was not her focus.
Let’s consider Abigail.
Abigail’s story comes about 100-150 years after Ruth’s and is found in 1 Samuel 25. Abigail lived in the region of Carmel with her wealthy husband Nabal. It was around 1012BC, when Abigail first encountered the future king David.
As we read in 1 Samuel, we gather details that help us understand a bit of the character and life of Abigail. It’s reasonable to suppose that what Abigail really wanted was a wise husband and good home. Culture of the time also reveals she likely wanted children.
BUT — while, she had wealth. A home. Servants. She had no children and was married to a foolish man. Nabal, her husband, had insulted David’s army by refusing to share his abundance in livestock with David and his men. It would have been customary to have shown appreciation to David and his men since they had given protection to Nabal’s shepherds and flocks without taking any sheep for themselves. Instead, Nabal greedily refused to show gratitude. This was gravely foolish. David’s response would have been to kill the men of the household and take what they wanted for food. But Abigail acted quickly and saved her household as well as David’s integrity. She was a wise woman, even though she was married to a fool.
Abigail did not have what she wanted in her marriage…and yet what Abigail “wanted” was not her focus.
And lastly, let’s consider Esther.
About 500 years later we find Esther’s story penned in the book of Esther (around 483-473 BC). Esther was a Jewish girl who had suffered great loss. Both her parents had died. She lived under the care of her cousin Mordecai, a good man. If we could have asked Esther, “What did you really want in life?” Esther, being a Jewish girl, would have likely answered simply, “I wanted a home with a good Jewish man and many children in my arms.”
BUT — instead, she found herself in a palace harem, waiting to sexually-serve a pagan King. No hopes of the home all Jewish girls of her day dreamed of. Esther even lost her name. Her parents had named her Hadassah, but Esther became her name in the harem.
And yet, what Esther “wanted” was not her focus.
Imagine what these ladies, each of them, might say to you if they could speak into YOUR world…
They lived with such intense challenges!!
We do not remember Ruth, Abigail, or Esther because of the challenges they each faced…we remember them because of the WAY they faced hard moments in their lives. Their character, strength, and selflessness was so remarkable that their stories are held in the Holy Pages of God’s Word.
They faced — death (Esther’s parents, Ruth’s and Abigail’s husbands)
They faced — violence (Abigail- David’s 400 men with swords), (Esther - the kings men looking for beautiful virgin girls, and Haman’s desire to kill the Jewish people), (Ruth - potential harm as she worked and gleaned in a land without the cover of a husband)
They remained steady, calm, focused, and “surrendered” to the hands of God. Their wishes, dreams, hopes, and feelings were laid down. Their focus was on DOING what was RIGHT and leaning towards GOD.
Ruth, Abigail, and Esther would say to you —
“What I wanted, that I didn’t have...
is NOT what my story is about.”
Let them become your friend…let them mentor you today.
What is it that you want that you do not have?
(It’s not that wanting something is bad…it’s only that wants are best managed when we release them to Jesus and follow His plans instead.)
What do you “white knuckle” in life?
(To white knuckle anything means we grip it so tightly we restrict blood flow; the blood flow of life, as well as the Blood flow of Christ. We can’t lay something down in the hands of God if we are white knuckling it.)
What keeps your focus and holds your attention?
Is it words from others? Comparisons to others? Desires of your heart? Fear of what is to come?
Don’t be deceived — remember instead — that ANYTHING that keeps your focus and holds your attention might actually be used by the enemy of God to keep you from seeing the purpose GOD created you for. God’s way is not easy — it is hard — but it is a story worth writing. The life you and I would create for ourselves is common stuff that no one would likely write about. It doesn’t inspire. It’s human-sized.
Ruth, Abigail, and Esther lived lives that still teach us today. No one around them lived such lives as they did.
What holds your focus?
What keeps your attention the most?
And perhaps the most important question of all —
Is it keeping you from the life GOD created you for...
the life HE longs to give you?
Ahhhh but He knows the plans HE has for you…and His way is good.
As we work to reach for More of Jesus and less of everything else, we can lay our wants down before Him. As we do so, we find that many of our wants can be ministered to as we meditate on the following Psalms
(From NIV Life Application Study Bible, c.2011, Zondervan, pg.1287)
When you want…
Acceptance: Psalm 139
Answers: 4; 17
Confidence: 46; 71
Courage: 11; 42
Fellowship with God; 5; 16; 25; 27; 37; 133
Forgiveness: 32; 38; 40; 51; 69; 86; 103; 130
Friendship: 16
Godliness: 15; 25
Guidance: 1; 5; 15; 19; 25; 32; 48
Healing: 6; 41
Hope: 16; 17; 18; 23; 27
Humility: 19; 147
Illumination: 19
Integrity: 24; 25
Joy: 9; 16; 28; 126
Justice: 2; 7; 14; 26; 37; 49; 58; 82
Knowledge: 2; 8; 18; 19; 25; 29; 97; 103
Leadership: 72
Miracles: 60; 111
Money: 15; 16; 17; 49
Peace: 3; 4
Perspective: 2; 11
Prayer: 5; 17; 27; 61
Protection: 3; 4; 7; 16; 17; 18; 23; 27; 31; 91; 121; 125
Provision: 23
Rest: 23; 27
Salvation: 26; 37; 49; 126
Stability: 11; 33; 46
Vindication: 9; 14; 28; 35; 109
Wisdom: 1; 16; 19; 64; 111
